I hope I’m not boring everyone with all my posts about motherhood and babies but I think its something that has really taken over my life and that is pretty much what this post will be about, how motherhood and having a baby has completely knocked my confidence and changed who I am as a person.
If you are bored with the mommy posts then I will definitely be doing more lifestyle and beauty posts soon please just be patient and keep following!
So obviously the first thing to go when having a baby is weight…
I don’t think I have ever been so weight conscious in my entire life, I’m not fat, let me set that straight right now, I am not saying I am fat and looking for sympathetic comments at all – what I am is unhappy with my body.
Yes I know my body has done one of the most incredible things a women’s body can do and it takes time to recover from that but 7 months on and I feel extremely self conscious and aware of how ‘different’ I am now.
I find myself buying clothes in 1 or 2 sizes up just to feel comfortable which then makes me want to cry even more because of that size number, which I know is so wrong! Size shouldn’t matter but lets face it, it does
I find myself wearing the same basic, boring outfits day in, day out, because they are comfortable and hide everything I want to hide! I recently received a suitcase full of clothes that my dad had stored at his house and when I was going through what I would keep I realised just how much my style and confidence has changed and its such a shame that I cant just snap out of it.
Post baby hair loss is a very real thing and not something I was prepared for!
My hair grew so much whilst I was pregnant and became so much thicker and appeared so healthy but then after Mia arrived everything changed. My hair was falling out in clumps, handfuls. I couldn’t brush my hair without loosing a clump, any time I re-did my ponytail (go to mom-style) I would be covered in hair, it would be handing out of my ponytail just waiting to fall off, Mia would have it all over her clothes and blankets because I couldn’t control where and when it fell.
7 months on and I have thinning/bold spots that are starting to grow back which is no better! I am stuck with these awkward, short, wispy bits EVERYWHERE!
My go to ponytail now almost looks like a mullet haha.
This might be TMI but I think its something that needs to be talked about and something that definitely plays on my mind…
I have to constantly convince myself that my partner will stay with me, I don’t feel attractive, I’m always tired and lets be honest, I look like a slob majority of the time!
I have convinced myself that my partner can do better and didn’t sign up for being with this version of me which makes me paranoid but also makes me come across both needy and distant. Even though there are days he cannot keep his hand off me, we have great banter and loads of fun, we are like best friends, I am still convinced that I am not good enough for him.
He does all he can to reassure me and make me feel wanted and loved but its my general level of self confidence that I need to work on rather than something he can do.
I feel like I have heard about this a lot in the past, before Mia came along, I’ve seen so many stories on Jeremy Kyle about women who are convinced their partner has cheated when they have just had a baby and I never understood why they felt that way but now I really do! It’s heartbreaking.
The main reason I wanted to put this out there was because I wanted other moms and women in general to know that they aren’t alone in this, if they are feeling this way.
I hope you have a great day or night where ever you are!